The Curse of... erm

I’m absolutely convinced if I could ever get myself into a prolonged state of motivation, I could be dangerous. In what way or to whom I couldn’t tell you but I’d like to imagine it would be a world domination kind of dangerous, given half a chance.

And therein lies the problem, I doubt I’ll ever get the chance. This is because I suffer from an affliction that holds back any long-lasting productivity, a malady that points creative energy away from the meaningful and into pointless or menial tasks.

I’m talking of course about the curse of procrastination.

Even now I’m fighting the urge to get up from behind the keyboard and go and make another cup of tea or have a quick nosy out of the window. I’m trying to concentrate on what I’m writing but in my peripheral vision I can see my bass guitar sitting up brightly, winking at me. If I listen carefully I can almost hear it saying, "come and play me for a while, it’ll help relax your mind and give you ideas to write about."

I resist though and stay put in my seat, although now I come to think of it I am beginning to get a bit thirsty and that cup of tea idea is becoming more tempting by the minute. Oh sod it, I need more liquid…

You see what I mean? It is now ten minutes later and I’ve made more tea and twatted about on the guitar. Okay so the tea does help me focus, albeit briefly, and I suppose that playing the guitar for a bit is semi-productive, but it’s still an example of my innate inability to stick to the task at hand. Sometimes I find that I start something, get distracted, start something else, then another thing and by the time I realise where I am I’m falling over things I’ve started and forgotten about.

Even when I do get off the blocks and start to achieve a smidgeon of momentum the curse of procrastination is still there. No sooner have I got the creative juices flowing I suddenly feel that I should reward my good work by going off and having a faff. Facebook is a nightmare tool of procrastination too. I dread to think how many blog entries, short stories or hours of bass practice I could have put in if I didn’t suffer the irresistible draw of status updates, absurd random groups and all the other endless forms of meaningless diversion Facebook has to offer.

I wish my mind could conjure up ideas for stories as prolifically as it finds ways to avoid being creative, I’d be the new Stephen King goddamn it. I’ve got friends who have the amazing ability to limit the amount of procrastination they allow themselves and they achieve fantastic things. If only I could capture their sense of focus and call it Eau de Action or something equally ridiculous, but even then I’d probably lose the bottle whilst reorganising my shelves rather than drafting that short story I had an idea for on the way home.

You could suffer from it too. It’s a common ailment so even if it doesn’t affect you it probably affects someone you’re close to. Ever had a great idea or the inspiration to go and get cracking with something productive or creative only to find yourself cleaning the bathroom? And not just cleaning it, getting stuck into all the really horrible bits that you avoid under normal circumstances? And while you’re there cleaning around the back of the toilet are you subconsciously planning ways to reorganise the kitchen, but only after you’ve given it a deep clean of course?

The curse of procrastination strikes again. Beware.