Snow Joke - In the Beginning

I’ve finally succumbed to the temptation to add my voice to the clamouring millions who think that their opinions count for something, or are indeed heard let alone considered when floating around in the vastness of the internet. The other day I read a blog that my friend, Sarah pointed me towards entitled Most Blogs Are Shit, Aren’t They? and that probably sums up my opinion of most of them. Ironically, Most Blogs Are Shit, Aren’t They? is really funny and I suggest you take a look, there's a link at the bottom.

So why should I decide that I should add to the already immeasurable sea of self-indulgent writing? Probably because I’m as deluded as most other people and think that someone may actually give a shit and read it.

Another reason for writing this is I’ve been sporadically contributing to the Taco Cart Productions blog, which has so far been mostly concerned with movie reviews, which would make sense with Taco Cart being a guerrilla film making outfit based in Seattle. So I’ve decided that I’ll keep throwing periodic film reviews that way and create a space here for other things I want to write about. If you haven’t checked them out before I suggest you have a look at the Taco Cart site as well as their short films if you can, Jerry and Co are a pretty talented bunch. The link is at the bottom for that site too.

I ‘m going to be exceptionally British with this first entry because I’m going to talk about the weather. ‘Hurrah’ I hear you cry, ‘the weather. What a fabulously fucking exciting thing to read about.’ I’m afraid I have to though because we’ve had the most snow the country has had for a few years and once again even a light dusting has caused everything to practically grind to a halt. The problem is what usually happens is the rest of the country gets a decent measure of snow and in Brighton we get a piffling sprinkle if anything at all.
But not this time.

We may not have had as much as places further north but we’ve still had a fair amount and it’s hung around for more than twenty four hours before turning to shitty slush. For about five days now we’ve been covered with the stuff and hit with sub zero temperatures, which has brought a wonderful helping of anarchy to the usual daily proceedings.

The media has been conjuring up the usual infuriating sound bites and headlines as to be expected, talking as though this was the coming of a bloody ice age. Schools have closed, public transport suspended, workplaces operating at a bare minimum. I saw the BBC website midweek publish an article entitled, why is it so cold? Dear readers, you don’t need to go through a whole BBC article to solve that little poser because I can give you the answer you need as to why it’s so cold right here in one short sentence. Ready?

Because it’s fucking winter.

It tends to do things like get cold at this time of year, and yes occasionally it even snows. Sometimes everywhere. Not just in the Scottish Highlands.
I called on a friend who goes by the name of Shoes yesterday and his Polish friend, Lukas came over and joined us for a drink. He made a rather interesting point as we passed around the warming contents of my hip flask. He said:

‘In my country it is minus fifteen, minus twenty at this time of year. Much more snow. But here it is minus one or two and the whole country fucking stops. What is that about?’

I couldn’t answer him. I mean it’s not like this is Spain is it? It isn’t like we aren’t used to a bit of cold is it? We don’t live in the warmest place on Earth by a long shot so why can’t we cope with a bit of snow? I remember winters like this back in the distant days of my childhood so it isn’t like this is a surprise. It’s a symptom of winter, can’t we just deal with it?

Personally I love it, the place seems brighter and more interesting thanks to the snow. At this time of year I’m usually struggling with a bout of seasonally affective disorder, enduring the cold, dark tedium of January and trying to cope with the big comedown after the festive season. Not to mention coming to terms with being a year older, which is getting more difficult as the years pass by. And what a shitty time to have a birthday, January the second. I ask you. Who wants a birthday at that time of year? Future parents of the world, I urge you to not blight your unborn offspring with a crappy time of year for a birthday. Do them a favour and start shagging in around the end of September, give them a nice summer birthday rather than landing them with one on the day the rest of the world decides that the party’s over.

As for the snow, well as I write another prolonged flurry of the beautiful frozen whiteness is covering the ground once more. Temperatures aren’t going to get above freezing and there’s more forecast for tonight. Long may it continue. Well hey, it’s better than loads of boring old rain and headlines about how the flooding will sink the UK, isn’t it? I think so.

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